So. Our newest renter.
I've named her Marian. She's a librarian. And I am a genius.
Marian is sweet as pie. She's so considerate and clean and I love her. So far. Because I know she'll eventually do something to fuck it up and make me hate her. But in the meantime, she's cool. I mean cool in that she's a nice person. I don't mean cool in that she's hip and trendy. She's a huge nerd, actually. She also appears to be about 13 years old socially.
This is probably why she hangs out with Emo. Marian is almost 40 years old. Emo is 17 years old. She found us through him. Emo knew we were looking for a renter and suggested that Marian call me.
I'm a bit concerned with this relationship. But I'm not surprised. At all. Emo can't seem to find any girls his age that want to hang out with him for more than 10 minutes. He runs them off with his weird, vampire-ish personality. What we've tried to explain to him many times is that teenage girls love the IDEA of a weird, vampire-ish boy....but they don't want a real life one. Because the real life ones have acne and laugh too loud and say inappropriate things and become their stalker after one date.
So for him to be hanging out with Marian makes sense. The day she moved in, she talked about Emo's music and how awesome it is. The boy screams into a microphone and then plays it over techno music. Then he posts it on myspace and has us listen to it over and over. It's not awful, but it's not good either. It makes me think of Ross on Friends, with his "sound".
Anyway, my point is that I think Marian is less of a romantic interest and more of a motherly, encouraging friend. At least in Emo's eyes. I can't say for sure how Marian feels though...I'm hoping she's not, ummmm, you know..."interested". Because that would be gross and I really don't want to be forced to call the cops.
Captain Carl doesn't share my opinion though. He says someone needs to pop Emo's cherry so the kid will just calm the fuck down, and who cares if it's a 40 year old gray haired and overweight librarian?
The thought makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
A Lifetime Sentence
1 month ago