Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Sexiest Man Alive Is Apparently 17 Years Old

Well, another Halloween has come and gone. I'm always sad when November 1 comes around because October is my favorite month. Weather gets cooler...if you are lucky enough to live in a cold enough place, the leaves turn beautiful colors...people start making stews and soups...I stop getting the boob sweats just from walking outside to get the mail. You know, it's basically just awesome.

We had no trick or treaters last night at our house. That really pissed me off. I mean, I put out the light up pumpkins and the scary sounds doormat and everything. Not one little shit rang our doorbell. I went outside around 9pm to see what the problem was and none of our neighbors had their lights on. Jerks. Of course kids won't come down our street if only one house is lit's bad Halloween policy to waste time on that street.

The Kiddo is too old for trick or of course he told us he wanted to go with his friends. A pack of 17 year old boys out wandering the streets at night. Yeah, not a good idea. He had a Halloween party to go to anyway, so it worked out. His girlfriend came over and got dressed up as Marilyn Monroe. I asked the Kiddo if he was going to go as Joe Dimaggio and he was all "Who?" and I was all "The baseball player" and he was all "Huh?" and I was all "He was married to Marilyn" and he was all "So?" and I was all "See, because they were married so if you went as Joe, you would be like....oh nevermind" and he was all "I'm going as The Sexiest Man Alive" and then he put his hands on his hips and stared confidently into space.

For reals, this was his "costume".

So I told y'all that I was dressed like a pirate at work on Friday. And for those of you who don't believe I was really drinking on the job, I submit to you my proof.

Picture taken at 8am

Picture taken at 1pm

Told ya.


Miss Vintage Vixen said...

That is a very nice costume!

And that SUCKS that nobody trick-or-treated. My street was very poorly lighted, but at least our doorbell was rung a couple fifty times.


Hope the weather in California is colder than what we expected: I'm tired of sweat in the wrong places.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...


(looooong inhale)


Best drunk face ever. I want to work with you. I don't care, I'll be the sandwich girl, whatever.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Cute. And at least your son is confident in his, ah, looks? :)

Cassie said...

Where do you work? I'm not a stalker, I swear, I just need to know where I can get a job that allows me to listen to werewolf/vampire novels on tape, dress like a pirate, and drink at work. Hire me?

Green-Eyed Momster said...

What? no picture of your boob escaping your costume? ;)

Hope your Halloween was wonderful minus the trick-or-treaters......More candy for you, huh? That's NOT a bad thing.


Harna said...

Well shit, if I would have known that you didn't have any trick or treaters, I would have come and rang your bell...but only if you had the good candy. Non of that peanut butter taffy-tastes-like-an-asshole bullshit...

diane said...

Oh man, Tracey got here before me and stole my comment. So, anyways, where's the boob? Jeez.

kys said...

Good costume! Looks like a good buzz, too!

We had the same problem at our house - the old people across the street (3 houses) didn't turn their lights on so not many kiddos bothered with us. Other parts of the neighborhood were pretty busy.

Just.Kate said...

Hahahahaha! I bet I could drink at work if it was a "prop".

Sowaking of trick-or-treaters: I live in Mormon Central, so it's all "We're all gathering in the church parking lot in broad daylight to trunk-or-treat! We don't let out children *gasp* OUT OF OUR SIGHT, or worse- AFTER DUSK. ...What do you mean my ten-year-old is a chain smoker? Why would he rebel against such a loving smother- I mean, mother?"

So I took my 18-month-old Superman to the hippy town a couple miles away and ran wild with all the hippy moms answering the door nursing their babies. I saw SO MUCH BOOB. It was awesome.

Just.Kate said...

P.S. If your son really is the sexiest man alive, can you give him my number? I mean, I'm only 5 years older. I was dating guys in their 30s at his age.

*innocent face*

(Don't hunt me down and do terrible things to me. I swear I'm kidding.)


Anonymous said...

I have lots of candy left and start back to work tomorrow.
1. Should I proclaim to be the Sexiest Teacher Alive?
2. Should I drink on the job??

Tough choice.

Love your pics.
Move closer to me. I'd step on your scary sounds doorstep.

Joanna Jenkins said...

The Sexiest man Alive name tag is hysterical. Your son clearly has your sense of humor :-)

And you're a good looking pirate. Sorry no trick or treaters, but at least your have leftover candy.


Kim said...

Did anyone go as a Somalian pirate?

The Peach Tart said...

I love a job where you can drink. It almost makes it not like the dreaded word work.

just making my way said...

I think the Kiddo's costume is brilliant!

Too bad no one got a picture of when your boob popped out!

hotchildinthecity said...

thanks for making me laugh on a monday morning!!

beth said...

love the pictures. love the kiddo's costume (ps - you should have made him go as arthur miller. ha). but really, if he is mr. dr. professor sexy, is that really a costume at all?

adrienne said...

you effing rock.

p.s. to go as a somalian pirate, all you would have to do is not own a pair shoes, develop all sorts of cancers because of the toxic waste other nations are dumping on your shores, and get an 'it's the survival of my family i'm worried about' look on your face. easy breezy.

plo said...

seriously, that is a pretty clever costume. My 17 year old son would get along just fine with yours. :) I hate that it is over too, and we didn't get many trick or treaters...bastards.

Mel Spillman artwork said...

NICELY DONE sister!!!!
A major shout out to you from me in Memphis, Tennessee!

otherworldlyone said...

I'm going to slip a little something in the coffee pot and pray for faces like that to happen allllll around.