Living With A 17 Year Old Smart Ass

Today is the Kiddo's 17th birthday.

Me: How does it feel to be a 17 year old boy?

Kiddo: I wouldn't know, because I am a 17 year old man.

Me: Oh pardon me. I didn't realize you are a man now. Should I give you the invoice for your portion of the mortgage today or on Monday?

Kiddo: What's a morts gadge?

Me: Quit pretending you don't know what I'm talking about.

Kiddo: Mots guldge?

Me: Being funny won't make you exempt from paying your share, big man.

Kiddo: More madge?

Me: Exactly.

Kiddo: Do you know what really sucks about turning 17?

Me: Not really.

Kiddo: Now I will automatically be tried as an adult for any crimes I might decide to commit.

Me: Guess you should have thought of that when you were 16.

Kiddo: That's what becoming a man does to you. You realize how foolish you were when you were a child.

Me: You are so wise.

Kiddo: I know, it's a gift.