That's a hot blog title, huh? My apologies in advance to all you pervs out there...there really isn't much in here about either of those things. Now go ahead and leave me a dirty comment....it'll save me the trouble of reading my soft-core porn book before bed tonight (I'll tell y'all about the book another time).
Captain Carl and I had a fight today. He went out to pick up some pizzas for dinner and while he was gone, Emo came over and begged me to let the Kiddo go to the mall. See, the Kiddo has been grounded for quite awhile do to some stupid choices and behavior a few weeks ago. He's been on total social lock down.
Emo is his best friend and knows he can come and go at our house as he pleases. So he strolled in today while I was doing dishes and his first tactic was to tell me "I'm here to kidnap your son and take him to the mall because it's not cool you won't let him go out". I just laughed and kept doing the dishes. Then the Kiddo suggested that Emo should try being sweet to me instead. And apparently Emo's idea of being sweet is to rub my shoulders inappropriately and say "Hey sweetie, how's about you let me take your kid to the mall, hmm?" I'm not even kidding. The Kiddo looked appalled and said "Dude, I said be sweet, not hit on her!"
I told Emo that I am way too old for him and I'm not really into boys that wear elbow-length striped knit gloves with the fingers cut off (would you expect anything less from a kid we call Emo?). Then because I am kind of a pushover, I made a deal with the Kiddo. I told him he could go to the mall in exchange for physical labor in the garden tomorrow. I was pretty sure Captain Carl wouldn't agree with me on this, but I did it anyway. Did I mention I'm a pushover?
Yep, the Captain was pissed when he got home for not discussing it with him first. After some arguing back and forth, I told the Captain in a huff that from now I would run everything by him and I was wrong for making a decision all by my little old self. Then I stopped talking.
The Captain stewed for about 30 minutes and then came over and got all huggy and kissy and apologized. I win!
Okay, I apologized too...and then the Captain said he loved me and I said I loved him and then he whispered in my ear "Now we can totally have hot makeup sex, right?" and I started giggling which made my boobs bounce and then the Captain starting tapping on them like they were bongo drums, which made him start giggling so then we're both giggling and then he farted.
We are soooo romantic. And totally mature. Obviously.
On Becoming My Grandmother
3 months ago