Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Two Whitest Girls On The Planet

Today's email conversation between my sister (let's call her Lizard) and me....

Me: Did you meet your boyfriend's son this weekend?

Lizard: Don't know when that will happen. He's waiting for the perfect time and it will be one big love fest or something. I just don't understand why he makes such a big deal out of things. Why can't he act like Mel Gibson and just parade me around for the paparazzi already?

Me: He should totally be parading you for the paparazzi by now. Wait, I don't think there are paparazzi in Chicago. But he should at least take you to a taping of Oprah or something.

Lizard: You know my girl Oprah would be all "what's up with that" and "you got to do right by your girl, she stood by you all this time, you fool."

Me: Huh, I didn't know Oprah was your girl. I think you might be confusing her with Tyra. It seems like Tyra would say "fool" more than Oprah. Hey hook me up, yo! I could use some free stuff from the O. Also, I want to hear her say "my va-jay-jay is painin" in person.

Lizard: Oh no you di'ent - I could NEVER confuse my girl O with that big cheese Ty Ty Baby or whatever she is calling her fierce self these days. O only says "fool" with her closest gal pals - you must not be one if you didn't know that.

Me: You just said "di'ent" and "gal pals" in the same paragraph.

Lizard: I'm just keepin' it real.

Me: We are the whitest girls on the whole planet.

Lizard: True dat.


15 comments:

Logical Libby said...

The two of you make me proud to be almost albino...

Traceytreasure said...

I'm working on my tan. YO!

Jugs!!

Dana's Brain said...

HaHa! I'm kind of over the O. I mean, I still love her and all - it's just in an "eh" kind of way.

But if she's your girl - I'll rethink that.

diane said...

Ha, I love this exchange between you and your sister. It's great that you can kid around like....kids.

Jelly said...

I am so white I glow in the dark. Like literally and metaphorically.

Maybe we should start a club? I mean, um, gang?

We could totally all go to O together, then... I don't know hang out in da hood wid our crew.

Yo?

Kurt said...

This one time I saw something whiter than you two.

No I didn't. That was a lie.

Janine said...

Might have been me, Kurt.

On another subject, my word verification today is "boning."

yo!

erin said...

I'm totally in your crew yo! Actually, I just sound like a valley girl that puts 'yo' at the end of all her sentences. I like to think I'm original and clever, but it turns out I'm just a dork. And other people think that too, where would they get that impression????

diane said...

I think I'm starting to get a crush on Kurt, yo.

Anna Russell said...

Fo' shizzle, yo.

Lindsay Champion said...

Yeah, Oprah only says "fool" to Gail. Va-jay-jay, though, I think you could get her to say that.

lindsay || newyorkwords.net

PLO said...

We must be related home slice, cuz I is butt ass white.

TishTash said...

Yeah, my inner ethnic just cringed for the both of you.

But in a good way.

Sacred Yoli said...

You go, with your big bad white self!

Coastal Nest. said...

Yo Ho..
Oh, forget it.
totally lame.
and tooo white.