Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Cube Farm Is Sucking My Will To Live

For the past seven years, I have spent the majority of my waking hours in a cubicle. My cubicle used to be big and roomy and had windows so I could see the outside world. And then my company downsized and then downsized again and then downsized yet again. And now I no longer have a window and my cubicle is so small that it only qualifies as a cubelet.

And that is where I spend nine hours a day, five days a week. I say nine hours instead of eight because we're broke, so I bring my lunch and eat it at my desk almost every day. It's depressing to even write about it.

So to combat the depressing fact that I am exposed to more fluorescent light than sunlight, I have filled my cubelet with things that make me smile and laugh. I have many pictures of the Kiddo, the Captain and my nieces. I have a few plants to remind me that there is a world somewhere out there that is alive and green and not all shades of gray.

I also have this stuff....

The most awesome mouse pad on the planet.
Hung on the wall for maximum effectiveness.

Stupid cat calendar with cut out picture of Harry Connick Jr. taped to it.
Ahhhh, complete me.

Creepy chocolate finger on a stick that I received on Halloween.
I use it to point at people when they piss me off.

Picture of Rainn Wilson dressed as Xena Warrior Princess.
I've had more questions about this than anything else in my cubelet. People get confused and say things like "Who's she?" and "Whoa, Xena really let herself go."

But my absolute favorite items hanging in my cubelet are all the cards that came with the flowers Captain Carl has sent me at work over the past seven years. There are many...I've got the Captain wrapped around my little pinky. Like a string, people.

This one is my favorite.

Yeah, I call him Big Daddy...what of it?


Traceytreasure said...

I've only had a cubicle when I worked temporary jobs so I didn't decorate them. I'd have to have my signs posted just like at home:
Pets Welsome. Humans Must be on Leash.
Wait, that last one probably wouldn't go over well at work, huh?

Embrace your cube. You could work in a health store and have to deal with paranoid people about the Swine Flu and sick people who probably have it.


Traceytreasure said...

S/B Pets Welcome. Humans Must be on Leash.
I don't know what welsome is.


Kate said...

I used to have fun little things at my desk, but the hospital I work in decided that all of the desks need to look the same and, therefore, must not have anything on them. No pictures, no signs, no notes, no clocks...ugh. I am surrounded by piles and piles of sanitizing gel, sanitizing foam, sanitizing spray and sanitizing wipes because they're convinced that we're all dying of swine flu very soon. I love The Office mousepad! I managed to keep my "I love Jim" post-it notes hidden at my desk :) I'm such a rebel.

Cassie said...

That Rainn Wilson/Xena picture is hilarious! And the fact that it confuses people, even better.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Which two lips?

Badum bum.

diane said...

I love Harry C. too.
That chocolate finger is gross, but it has a good use.
Capt. Carl is smart to send you flowers at work; it's kind of like the tree falling in the forest theory.

I worked in a confined, computer environment when I was fresh out of high school, it lasted about 6 months. If I had stayed, I can't even imagine how much money I'd be making. But I work at my little job where I am expendable, therefore there is no stress. I live in a house built for hobbits, and have plumbing problems. Would I trade? Nahhh. Point is, I think you deserve a medal every day for staying in your windowless cubicle. And the more I read your blog, the more I like you. (true that, yo)

Solanaceae said...

Harry is my homeboy. That is all. :)

Vic said...

I worked in an office with cubicles for a couple of summers during college. I wanted to slit my wrists.
(That probably makes you feel so much better, right?)

Harry Connick is so magical in that picture, standing on the duckling and all. Go Harry!

Janine said...

Oh, how horrible cubicles are. During a recent "restructure" at my daughters work she got a CUBE MATE!!!!! yeah. One who is addicted to online dating and who has a gluten allergy. Nightmare.

I love love love the finger. I used to have a tiny plastic pirate woman with red hair that a coworker stole from his kid and brought to me because it looked like me. Pirate Janine had a gun and a sword but I didn't.

and SO should have.

erin said...

Super cute. My office is my whole house but I'm not as cute and clever as you so I don't have many quirky decorations. Just dirty diapers and bowls of rotting cereal laying around.
Half eaten bananas, rotting dog carcasses. Same old, same old.

Betsey Booms said...

I'm lucky enough that we don't have cubes and I get real sunlight, but we're in the middle of the "down-size" right at this very moment.

I think I'm gonna barf.

Anna Russell said...

When I was a kid I called my hoo hoo my tulip, so... I don't even know where I'm going with that.

Lindsey said...

I need an awesome mouse pad like yours!

Word Verifaction: MoButts

Lana said...

it sounds like you have all the elements to write a really awesome screenplay there :)

Lindsay Champion said...

I love your cubicle decorations! Especially Rainn Wilson as Xena.

lindsay ||

HappyHourSue said...

Oh Lord woman I feel for you! I slaved years in cubicles. Probably why "Office Space" is like my favorite movie of all time.

I actually got called on the carpet once for a sign I had up that said "Life is too important to be taken seriously." In a separate incident, I was told "This is not a frat house." True story.