My throat is on fire, y'all. And my left lymph node is all hurty and swollen and I keep pushing on it trying to get it to stop being so sticky outy. And I'm pretty sure I had a fever today because I've been sweating off and on for no reason. I mean, fat girls do that on a normal day...but it was worse than usual. Plus my eyes are still itchy and my eyelids are swollen for some reason so I look like my face is trying to eat my eyes.
The Kiddo had an academic achievement award ceremony tonight (snore) and because I'm the best stepmom on the fucking planet, I got out of my sick pajamas, put on a bra and outside clothes and sat in a gymnasium for 2 hours to watch my kid's five seconds of recognition. I spent the rest of the 2 hours making fun of the other teenagers as they walked across the floor to get their awards. I kept whispering things to Captain Carl like "I've seen at least ten Billy Dee Williams moustaches so far" and "Since when is it okay for 16 year old girls to wear tube tops to school functions?" and "Look at that kid...I've seen better heads on boils!". Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself.
So I got my own award from miss. chief yesterday. It's not an academic achievement award, it's way better. So thanks miss. chief for recognizing how wonderful I am! It's about time someone did, damn it.
I'm passing this award on to Tracey at Green-Eyed Momster because she is just plain wonderful and she deserves it, yo. So "jugs" to you, Tracey!
Peace out nerds....
On Becoming My Grandmother
5 weeks ago