Thursday, May 21, 2009

Pretty Much The Sexiest (fish) Pictures You Will Ever See

Captain Carl is visiting his parents for a few days and he's been spending lots of quality time with his dad, Ward. Yesterday they sat out in the yard watching the squirrels. Yep, you heard me. Squirrels.

Today they went fishing and let me tell you....the Captain earned his name. He called me tonight and told me to check my email because I was about to see something amazing.

This is the Captain's catfish.

It was so big (that's what she said), it wouldn't fit into the basket. When I opened this picture, I thought it was a baby seal at first and I was all "Why are you killing baby seals?" and Captain Carl was all "Huh?" and I was all "Wait, how do baby seals live in ponds in the middle of Texas? Is that even possible?" and he was all "That's a catfish" and I was all "Ohmygod, maybe it's a cross-hybrid baby seal-fish!" and he was all "I hate when you do this" and I was all "I'm totally sending your baby seal-fish picture to Unsolved Mysteries" and he was all "We're eating the baby seal-fish tonight" and I was all "Poor Fred" and he was all "Who the hell is Fred?" and I was all "Fred is the baby seal-fish you so mercilessly slaughtered. I named him so that you wouldn't forget what you have done on this day" and he was all "Okay, gotta go...Fred's gettin' fried up even as we speak."



That is one huge mutha lovin' baby seal-fish.


Look at all those fillets.

I am so turned on right now.

Just kidding. Kind of.

And now I'm off to bed to fantasize about my big studly fisherman and also about how close we are getting to the renters moving out. Twenty days and counting, bitches! I don't know if I can make it that long without judo chopping one of them in the trachea. If I never see another Totino's pizza again in my life, I could die a happy woman.

RIP Fred.

19 comments:

Vic said...

Fred is definitely the sexiest seal-fish I have seen this week.

I totally mean that.

Logical Libby said...

There was definitely some puppy in there too. maybe some polar bear.

Really, this was a baby animal massacre.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

It looks like a freaking baby hippo. Is that a...fang?

diane said...

I had forgotten all about the "cow" story, I'm so glad you linked it. So, I guess Capt. Carl gets his sense of what an animal's "place" is from his dad. It was a valiant effort on your part, though, to give the fish a name. So, what's for dinner tomorrow night? Pasta a la Fred?

Dana's Brain said...

To bad they ate Fred before he could be on one of those "Monsters of the River" shows they have on TLC. Or is it Animal Planet? Oh, god I watch too much TV.

erin said...

Holy shit. I won't ever go in any pond every again. That thing would eat me up!

Pools only, ladies...let's not lose our pretty toes to freaking mega-beast seal/puppy/hippo fish.

Anna Russell said...

I was just thinking about Eric Bana, but those pics are a whole new breed of sexy.

Mona Lott said...

Jesus! It looks like it was trying to sprout legs! The Captain did us all a favor, can you imagine a world over-run by seal-fish walking around, slapping us with their fins and stinging us with their whisker things?!?!!?!?!?!?!

Well now you don't have to! (But I can't stop! HELP!)

Kate said...

It's things like Fred that make me give people the "are you fucking kidding me" look when they ask if I want to go to the lake.

miss. chief said...

fishnets are sexy

Kurt said...

No one named Fred should be served with tartar sauce. That's just bad manners.

Traceytreasure said...

Do you have your strainer locked up in your room for 20 more days?
Fred is/was huge!! Way to go Capt. Carl!!

Word verification is: humas. I think that's hippie food and I don't think that's how you spell it!

Happy weekend, Miss Yyonne!

Jugs!!

Lindsey said...

ewww..how can people eat that thing?

Peggy said...

The first picture looked like a baby dolphin and I was thinking Miss Yvonne would NOT go there would she? And then I thought yeah she just might go there so I covered my eyes with my hands so I could peek thru and continued on.

Although I was relieved it wasn't a dolphin, that catfish will haunt me forever and ever and ever.

PLO said...

I seriously thought it was a seal. I am pretty sure that is the same catfish that got away from me once. He looks DELICIOUS!

K @ Blog Goggles said...

Wow. Poor baby seal fish. Now we know why they're endangered.

Mandy's Kidding said...

I think he caught the missing link.

*Shudders*

Soda and Candy said...

God I wish we could afford for our tenants to move out. *sigh*

Larew said...

The picture of baby seal fish Fred kinda looks like me trying to squeeze my fat leg into fishnet stockings.