You know what's awesome?
It's my giveaway prize from Lulu.
She even wrapped it.
You know what else is awesome? Lulu's collage.
It's a clown. Clowns are creepy. I didn't tell Lulu I've been afraid of clowns since I was three years old because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. So I was all "Oh awesome, a clown!!" and I decided right there I was going to put it face down in the closet after I twirled it around a few times so it couldn't find it's way into my room at night and kill me.
And then I unwrapped the collage and I was all "awwww!" and decided this clown is too dang cute to be scary. And besides, it really looks more like a miming minstrel than a clown.
See? Cute little miming minstrel.
I hung it right in the kitchen nook, where I can look at it every night at dinner. Thanks Lulu!!
And then yesterday I got another package in the mail, this time from Tracey.
She sent me all these goodies. Just because. And she put a card in the package that said "thanks for letting me do this for you". She's pretty awesome, huh?
See that stuff that says CALM?
Yeah, I need that stuff. A lot. You'll see why in a minute.
Okay, so you know what is NOT awesome?
And also this.
My kid backed his Explorer into a parked trailer and then proceeded to slide all the way down the side of it.
He's had that car for less than a month.
Two hours after Captain Carl and I blew our collective lids, we had a little conversation....
Me: You understand why we are so upset, right?
Me: This is going to cost you a lot of money.
Kiddo: Yep. But it's okay. You know why?
Kiddo: Because I'm awesome. Everyone thinks I am.
Me: I really don't think you are awesome right now.
Kiddo: Yes you do!
Captain Carl: The hell we do.
Kiddo: You think I'm awesome because you love me.
Me: We HAVE to love you, even when you do something stupid. We are not required to think you are awesome.
Kiddo: But you do anyway because you can't help yourselves. That's the power of the awesome.
And then I had to start ignoring him, because it's kind of frowned upon in polite society to kick your own kid in the kidney.
I don't know where he learns this shit.
On Becoming My Grandmother
2 months ago