Hurrah! My prize arrived in the mail today from Steam Me Up, Kid! I got home from work and the package was sitting on the counter and I got all jumpy and clappy like I'm prone to do and then I ripped that mother open.
Behold, my major award.
It's a terrarium with beastly carnivorous plant seeds included. Hells ya!
I pulled it out right away (that's what she said) because I could not wait to get this party started.
The terrarium is pretty much klassy with a k, people.
It seemed kind of weird to me, but it smelled a lot like a gynecologist's office.
And then I noticed this.
The hell??? I do believe that is a purple clam.
And this thing came with a baggie full of drugs of some kind.
I snorted two of them before reading that they are actually Venus Flytrap seeds. Venus Flytrap? Come on guy-who-names-plants! How much more blatant can you be? Please. I bet you really wanted to name them "vagina penis trappers" but you didn't have the balls to go through with it so you came up with this clever substitute.
Anyway...I got the vagina penis trapper seeds all snug in their little terrarium and now I just have to sit back and wait for them to grow and turn into vicious flesh-eating killers.
I can't wait!
Steamy included a little note for me and added this sweet postscript...
Awwww.....olive juice you too, Steamy.
Toe Pinchers and Other Exotic Pets
1 week ago