Captain Carl and I are watching Mark & Olly: Living With the Machigenga on the travel channel tonight. The Captain loves it. Basically, these two English dudes go live with an ancient tribe in Peru. It's pretty serious and very interesting if you are smart and mature. It's boring as hell if you are me. Except for the baby monkey. That little son of a bitch is cute as fuck but I know they are going to eat him and so I only watch it out of one eye because yes, I'm all for learning about other cultures, but watching a sweet little monkey get eaten by jungle people is where I draw the line.
So on the show, the white dudes get in trouble when they bring deer meat to the tribe and apparently that is a big no-no because now there is an evil deer spirit hanging around and the Machigenga don't play when it comes to evil spirits, yo. The Captain starts talking to me about how this is so interesting because most religions are fear based, no matter where in the world they are practiced. And I'm all nodding my head and acting like I'm thinking about how profound his commentary is and I'm totally pulling it off while still looking cute in my librarian glasses. Yes my dear, you are so right and I think this says a lot about our own religious beliefs and if only we could all open our minds just a little bit, we would see that we're similar in so many ways. Nod nod nod, looook thoughtful aaannnd push glasses up on nose in totally adorable manner.
But then the Captain dropped a piece of chocolate on the floor and when he bent over to pick it up, he farted. And I started giggling because hello! accidental farts are hilarious. That's a universe truth no matter where you live. You should look it up on Wikipedia if you don't believe me because it's totally gonna be there.
So Captain Carl is trying to get his culture on and be all serious about learning while I'm sitting next to him laughing uncontrollably and that's pretty much when he remembered who he was married to and stopped talking to me.
So now I'm gonna watch Xanadu on the laptop while he finishes his important smarty-pants-I-know-about-obscure-cultures tv show.
A Lifetime Sentence
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